I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a while now. I really do not like it when I feel completely in the basement. It is so bad today that everyone asked me if I was overtired or what. I must really be showing my feeling.

This is such an empty feeling and I know I am not empty. I know I have support, and I have my Lord. But, some days I lose control of the wall and people can see what I feel. today is that day.

Yes, it is the boys. It doesn't matter what I ask, or what I say, I don't matter. That hurts a whole bunch. then I have Ray telling me I should do this and I should do that. I just want to crawl under the bed and stay there. Trouble with that idea, there is no room. It is an electric bed. What I really feel like doing is crying. And that is the one thing I really do not like doing!!! Maybe I need medication.. Wouldn't be the first time.

I know God answers prayers. He answers them in His time and His way. I must be asking for the wrong thing. I need to rethink what it is I truly need. But then again, He knows that better than I do! I know He is always within reach and always with me. I just feel so lost, hurt, and defeated.

People come on here and pour their hearts out. that is SO hard for me to do. I try to keep things in check and put up a strong front. I am anything be strong. Right now I feel very fragil and maybe even broken. Depressed is what I am.

Why is it I can work with other peoples children and reach them and I can not reach my own? Why can I not motivate them to care about themselves? I know what drives them, but when does the past stop ruining the current and future?? there has to be an end to all this.

Yes, I am feeling very sorry for myself. It is not right, but I can not help it tonight. I wasn't going to write a thing, but then I thought just maybe it will help. Ever since we lost our home church I have felt disconnected and alone. I need that feeling back. No, going back to that church is not an option. I think I have covered that enough.

So there now I have poured it out. For whatever good it will do I don't know.

Thanks for just being there to dump on.

Granny

Posted 7:54PM PST

Today we drove out to our sons place for a duel birthday party for his two kids. They were both born in April so that makes it fun. Gabriel is 12 and Anna is now officially a double digit. 10!!! They are both good kids.

Their Mom home schools them besides running the family goat farm. She raises goats, sells milk, eggs and I don't know what all. I saw bunches of bunnies out there today. That is one busy lady.

She was helping my son build something the other day and a piece of 2X6 flew down and hit her right in the head. She got a huge goose egg on her forehead. She was still having head aches today. I am concerned. She looked off today.

The boys all grabbed an Air-soft gun and out back they went. That kept them occupied for hours. they seem to enjoy shooting each other with those little plastic BBs.

It was a good visit and the weather was not too mean to us. It tried to snow a little, but not enough to even think twice about. Now, if the temperature will just go up a bit, that would be nice. I don't need much...

Well, it is time to chase everyone their own direction. Like showers and bed.. Everyone have a wonderful week.
Granny

I tried not to send this to anyone it might offend.

Beautiful Blonde Pole Dancer

If you should find it too offensive,

please advise, and I will remove your name

promptly from this type of emails!

Please scroll down . .





Too CUTE!!!

May you always have enough HUMOR in your life!

I knew you couldn't resist scrolling down to look!!!



Have a warm SNOWY Sunday. Yes, we are getting snow showers too. This is getting ridiculous. I know April showers bring May flowers, but they will be frozen.

Peace and Love,
Granny

P.S. It took me 2 tries to get this posted. Man I dislike when I mess up...

Posted by Granny at 9:58PM PST........

Remember this every time you pass that little
penny in the parking lot. I always thought that it
was for good luck, but I love this version better.


I found a penny today
Laying on the ground.
But it's not just a penny,
This little coin I've found.


Found pennies come from heaven,
That's what my Grandpa told me.
He said Angels toss them down.
Oh, how I loved that story.


He said when an Angel misses you,
They toss a penny down;
Sometimes just to cheer you up,
To make a smile out of your frown.



So, don't pass by that penny
When you're feeling blue.
It may be a penny from heaven
That an Angel's tossed to you.



So now pass this on to people you care about
And who you feel are Angels to you.
I just did.
An Angel is now watching over you.

Hugs to all,
Granny

If all goes as planned, Miss Terri's World should appear tomorrow!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is If the computer is still working OK, and she can figure how to hook everything up. It all arrived today so she should be up and running tomorrow...

I just hung up from one very excited person. She can't wait to get back on the air. Also, this will mean that just maybe she can start getting jobs at the school district and hopefully get away from fast foods.

So hold tight, HERE SHE COMES.....
Granny