Names have been removed to protect the stupid !

Actual Letter from someone who writes, and farms.

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice a s strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

--
Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional.

Received this from a friend. Had to share. Have a great week,
Granny

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed"

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer , ironed a shirt and secured a loose button
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."

And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?

CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL..... (and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)
Love ya,
Granny

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

Scroll down...You'll love this ...




You've Got Male...

This week I am ready for the weekend. I don't know why, it was no better or no worse than most other weeks. BUT, we are doing a count down to Mid Winter Vacation.. Think that could have something to do with it??? Yes, another week off with pay.

Billy made it through his first week at the new high school. He says he likes it a lot. They even have a weight room for the students to use during their lunch time. He is all for that. I just pray this can be a turning point for him.

Oh, Branden got a surprise today. I don't know where he has been, but he just figured out today that his brother only goes to school 4 days a week. UNFAIR... I think that was the word he used. We have been talking about this for a few weeks. Just goes to show how much some people pay attention to the conversations.

We are now in the second semester. I hope it goes better than the first one. I would like to see the boys take personal interest in their education. Unfortunately, to them it is just something they have to do. Education can be something very special, if you let it. Oh well, what do I know I am just the Grandma.

Ray finally went to the dentist. He has been complaining about a tooth for the longest time. Being that he is 41, I really can't do much about it. He had to decide that he had had enough. Thankfully the dentist was able to pull the tooth. It was really bad. At first he thought he would have to refer Ray to an oral surgeon. That would have cost a few dollars for sure. Maybe now he will be a bit more friendly?? No, I am not going to hold my breath...

Chuck has an appointment Monday morning with his cardiologist. He hasn't seen him for a while so this should be interesting. Chuck hasn't been having any problems, so we will see what the doctor says. It is just a routine visit. A med check as they call it for the boys.

Well that is about it for today. I am trying not to only write about what hurts or upsets me. There is so much more to life. I know that sometimes it can be hard to find, but it is there.

Love ya,
Granny

Changes...
Tuesday Billy will start in a different High School. It is a very small school with a lot of individual attention to the student. They have a very high success rate. For the last two and a half years Billy has just floundered. Just being swept along with the crowd so to speak. He was learning nothing. So now that will change.

I did everything possible to try to get help for him at the other, large high school. My words fell on deaf ears. So I withdrew him and things are going to change. Billy is very excited about this change. His attitude is good so now we will just wait and see what he does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Repeats...
Here we go again. Branden is trying to run things. He knows we can not leave him so if we want to go somewhere and he does, we don't go. He has given us no reason to trust him. Every time we think we are gaining, he blows it. So today is no different. We wanted to go to our new Costco store. He didn't want to go. After going round and round, I just said to Hell with it. We stayed home. He want to watch Anime movies. Guess what??? That isn't happening either.

I asked him to let Grandpa trim his hair as it is getting very shaggy. He refused. Now he says he is growing it long again. I wouldn't care, but when one baths only twice a month, it is a problem. We go down this road so many times. Someday it has to end.

Guess what... I think I struck a nerve... He is in the shower. Actually he is making a liar out of me, but that is OK.. I won.

Round and round, disrespect and defiance... There has to be more to life. I will hang in there as I know this will end also. But it just gets so very frustrating.

Bye for today,
Granny

Posted at 3:40PM PST