I do not like the way I am feeling tonight. We feel totally betrayed and abandoned. We would have never, in a million years, thought a Christian church could suggest something so hurtful.

Branden will be returning home next month, as I have said. We were informed last night, by our church board, that he will not be allowed to attend church. He is to be denied the privilege of worshipping in the only church he has known! This is just too cruel!! They want to set up a mentoring type program with a few of the men in the church. They will come over, do Bible study, have him journal, (he won't) and it will be up to them, when they think, he can return to church! Oh yes, they will have simple services here at the house so he can receive communion. I know from past experience with him, this will not work. He will completely turn away from the church. This really upsets me as he has a strong faith now. This will destroy that in him.

I have talked with Christian friends of mine today. They are in total shock that our church could even think of doing such a thing. There are even members in the church that are in shock. I can see no good coming from this plan. I see only pain and more pain.
Where is the Christian forgiveness and love?? Our oldest has stated so many times that he can't wait to get home and go to church. He love to sing the worship songs. He loves to sing, period! But, this is to be denied him. I see us leaving this church we have learned to love so much. We will find another church that will accept our oldest and we will worship as a family there.

I am trying to figure out just what is so different about him now as to when he was first released. He was welcomed back with open arms. Yes, he broke another law. But it had nothing to do with his original offence. Now he is treated worse than a leper. Our Lord Jesus welcomed the lepers.

Love to all,
Granny

I have come up against a dilemma. I have been raising the boys since late 1993. Branden has made a very serious mistake and is incarcerated at this time. I believe I have talked about this before. His offence made him a sexual offender. I thank God he did not physically hurt his victim.

He has been going through some very intensive therapy on this subject. During our last few conversation he has made the statement, "I have never been sexually abused". OK, now to my dilemma. How do I get him to understand that he was sexually abused?? I am very thankful it was not physical sexual abuse, but when a three and a half year old child knows about oral and anal sex, THAT is sexual abuse! He was exposed to way too much more sexual knowledge than any young child should be. The courts, our attorney and even the Guardian Ad Litem all stated that they were sexually abused. Now, how do I get him to come to grips with it???

He is coming home next month. I am very excited about that. He will have a minimum of 2 more years of therapy. I am hoping to be able to work with that therapist to get our oldest to realize that he too was a victim. He freely admits that he was physically and emotionally abused, but not the sexual part of it.

There is doubt in my mind for even one second that there two boys were abused physically, I have pictures, abused emotionally, we are still trying to resolve those problems, and sexually abused. We have two very angry young men now. The worse part is they don't know why they are angry. Since our wonderful state passed a law to "help" children have access to therapy, no child over 13 can be put into therapy without their agreement. That is unless they commit a crime and the court orders them into therapy. Then, it is too late.

Very soon, as I said, Branden we return home. He will be on parole for 2 years. I honestly believe this is going to be a blessing to our family. This parole is not "Branden's" parole. It is going to be Functional Family Parole. That means all of us will be involved. that means that problems will be solved as a family. The fighting between the two boys might just end. Prayers are answered.

Keep the prayers coming please.
Granny

I am sitting here doing a count down until Branden is home again. I find myself excited, and worried all at the same time. Praying for him to be successful and fearing he won't be. He has 45 days, six weeks left.

Tomorrow the PO will be her for a visit. I am assuming to meet us and check out where he lives and all of that. this meeting is a good thing. We will get the answers to our questions and know the plan for what the state wants from him for the next two years. We will find out if he will be restricted to our county or if he can visit with us. Things like that.

We are waiting until Spring vacation, the first week in April to freshen up his room. New paint and all. We got him a new quilt and sheet set for Christmas, and he has his birthday present waiting.

Somebody is going to have to hold me down soon. I truly am getting very excited. Of course after he is home a while things will get back to normal and I will want to squash the both of them again. Oh, Happy days!!!!

That is all that is going on in my world today.
I did enjoy sunshine again at recess.
Bye from Washington,
Granny

PS I am getting ticked.... I have had to redo the title on this 5 times so far. I an tired and want to go to bed. Why can't I come up with a new name???

Posted 9:37PM On 3.8.07 PST<<>> Would not let me post last night.

I am on the war path tonight. As I have said before my husband and I have full custody of two of our grandsons and have had for over 13 years. Their mother has popped in and out of their lives to visit and only to visit.

Tonight, she called to talk with Branden. He had some problems and she talked with him until he calmed down. That is all well and good. Then, she turns around, calls and talks with the counselors. She proceeds to try to tell them how to help him understand why he is in trouble and what they can do to help him.

GIVE ME A BREAK!!! She doesn't have the time of day to give this child as far as raising him and now she is going to tell them how to handle him??? She hasn't even tried for 13 years.

It has been getting under my skin that they are sharing his personal information with her just because she calls herself his mother. I am going to call and talk with his counselor tomorrow. She has no legal right at all when it comes to him. He had put her on his visitors list as a person he wanted to be allowed to visit. I did not object as I knew she would not put herself out to drive over 2 hours to visit for 2 hours then drive home for 2 hours. I was right, the only trip she made, she made with us.

We make this trip every weekend, and we will continue to do so until we can bring him home in April. No, I am not looking for a pat on the back or anything else. That is just the way we are.

Now, She is telling me she wants to come down and surprise him when he gets home. We'll see!! I want him to get settled back in and comfortable before she stirs everything up again. I may let her come for the day, but it will be a while before I am going to allow her to spend the weekend. That is usually a rather tense time. No one around here needs that.

OK, I will stop. I feel better. Thank you for the vent time.
Granny

Posted at 9:35PM PST

Decorous posted about this subject. I had not read her latest blog on "It Shouldn't Hurt To Be A Child". I have planned to write about that very subject. Thank you Miss Hailey.

As some of you know Branden has been locked up for the past few months. The more he is watched, and the more therapy he has, the more people are starting to believe that he suffers with Fetal Alcohol Effect. This is like FAS only there are no facial deformities or retardation. FAE does make a child very impulsive and not have a good understanding of consequences. I have been battling this for 13 years now.

He now has more labels that any child needs. Each doctor he sees tacks on a new one. We have ADHD, PTSD, ODD, GAD, and who knows what else. I wish someone would come up with the correct diagnosis for him and help him!!! To put it flat out he got a real raw deal as a toddler and has never recovered. Abuse does all kinds of horrible life long damage to children. On this I could go on for hours, but won't.

He will be home again the 20th of April. I will be so very happy to have him back home where he can get the love and nurturing he so desperately needs. Yes, discipline too!! But he will be home and thinks will be OK.

Please keep praying for him and us.
Granny